Poetry 2007
What about me?
Just a mouthful of convenient words
To avoid the impeditive truth inside
(Don't you see that)
I cannot tell you anything
Superfluous lies are choking me
The clock ticks away to inevitibility
(Don't you know that)
I can see it all too clearly
Too many times I tried to close my eyes
It keeps wearing me down
(I can't sleep...)
Too many times I killed myself to try
Now I'm starting to drown
(I need to breathe...)
Don't you see that
I'm not here to teach you how to live your life
It requires patience
And she is not a friend of mine
Don't you know that
I can't stay around for you to test your fears upon
It will leave me broken
And that's not where I want to be
I can't sleep, I need to breathe
Revivify my energy
I can't sleep, I need to breathe
What about...
What about me?
Seductive energy
Coloured parts written by Psychotica. White parts by me.
I can feel you across the room
I sense you when you're not here
The world is spinning
Catch me
The world is blind
See me
The world is not enough
Touch me
I open up my senses
Drinking in your every move
-I still see you-
Tasting the spell that binds us
Feel how it tingles in the air
(I already taste you on my lips....)
Listen to the words unspoken
When your eyes capture mine
A shiver, a tremble
As our worlds collide
Want me
I feel you underneath my skin
As I undress you with my eyes
Exposed to you
So close to you
And I
Steal another moment of your time
And I
Will be the one that possesses your mind
Across the room
All there is, is this seductive energy
All there is, is you and me
Exposed to love
So close to love
And I....
I'm dreaming my reality
Just take my hand
Together we fall
I taste your soul
(All I know, is you and me...)
I feel you bleed through me
In every sigh that escapes my lips I feel your breath
The world is blinded, but I still see the energy
The world is senseless, but I taste you and me
Return to me
So see the image of you
Captured inside my eyes
Just enter me,
Erase the lies
The world is spinning for you and me
Our dreams only matter now, want me
Feel me
Need me
Love me
Breathe me
Take me in and swallow me
Paint me
Taste me
Hold me
Free me
Within my world of energy
The Glass Eyes
Coloured parts written by Psychotica. White parts by me.
Somehow I couldn't resist
I stopped you with a single touch
The words you didn't speak
Scared me the most
Dancing, Your eyes open wide
Never seen them closed that much
My fingers touched a skin I can't recall
Clouded eyes in the face of a porcelain doll
This terrifying sea of blue, gone cold
Somehow I remembered what was never there at all
Once I thought you were drowning
But you are too far under for me to hear
Your cries for help, As you disappear
For a moment it seemed the haze subsided
I could've dragged you out
But I lacked the strength to try
This time I could only wonder why
How could I tell her of your hidden pains
I wished I had never seen you this way
Believe only what your eyes can see
Your mind was but a hidden memory
Are you so persistant to let it all die
My porcelain doll with clouded glass eyes
A taste for your own blood and the silence lies
Your dream woke me up when I cried
And now there is only smoke
A veil for all you want to hide
Wanted to tell you I care
But you weren't there anymore
There will be no return
If you are willing to lose the fight
My lips kiss your face inside my mind
Touch the thoughts I thought I lost and left behind
These horrifying silent cries, I find
Ever will I keep the tears I held for you inside
Darkness forced in the air for a second
The stare of death was already in your eyes
I walk away although I am not sure why
Now succumbed to taste non-heaven
In this unexistent peace
My superficial touches
Cannot ever bring you back to me
Just simple seconds that count your time
Tell me, is it worth the while?
The force you held now a dear illusion
A broken mind left in this blind confusion
Your unseen scars now a stained memory
Mask your undying fear of what stirrs underneath
The words you never spoke you left like lies
My porcelain doll with clouded glass eyes
Sickness inside
System failing
I'm falling... Falling.. Falling..
The only way is down
This desolate life drains me
These painful thorns in my crown
Pinch their way into my mind
You're bleeding me blind
LIES
You poisoned my eyes
LIES
You trampled my mind
LIES
...so aware
I touch the scars on my heart
In search for air
I tear my soul apart
In search for tears
I pluck my eyes out
For I can never cry
Never cry
Never.. Never cry
And I can never forget
Never forget
Never.. Never forget the...
LIES
I'm falling.. I'm falling
LIES
I'm falling.. Falling.. Falling.. Falling...
LIES
I'm falling apart
And I..
I fear the silence
I fear the voices in my mind
I'm screaming.. Screaming.. Screaming out loud
Screaming no sound
And I..
I fear the silence
Fear the silence
Fear... Fear.. Fear..
I silence your
LIES
I empty your
EYES
Silence your
LIES
I'm falling.. Falling..
I'm falling.. Falling..
DIE
DIE..
DIE...
Understanding
Ignorance is bliss they say..
If you please, you can wait
I won't fade away
Now...
The time has come to play a game
You took your chances
To deceive
All the ones who couldn't see
You'd sell all you are for fame and attention
But don't you try that on me
I woke up too early..
Who blinded you to reality?
You've not seen the last of me..
I steal your thought before you spend it
Turning your back was a fatal mistake
You've told me too much
I'm awake
Remember..
I've been part of the hell you created
A world I learned to hate
You've turned me into a stranger
(But only to you)
All traces erased
(But only for you)
You're running away
(But only from you)
You've but closed your eyes
To all you do not wish to see
Pretend to forget me
You're the only one who dies
But not for me
Taught me to read between the lines
And I know you only love me
Shattered world
I feel the roof beneath my feet
Ten floors of solid concrete under me
Don't look down..
I shield my face and close my eyes..
The howling wind awakens me in a dream
Don't look down, don't look down..
DON'T LOOK DOWN!
It's a long way to the ground
A frightening long way down
So don't look over the edge
Now that you're close enough to fall
There's no turning back
You've come too far
So don't look down...
I'm so sick of all the lies
So sick of the pain I kept inside
I'm so sick of pretending I'm just fine
Once you told me I didn't have to die
You told me.. promised I'd survive
Just look at me now.. open your eyes
Tell me why
Why..
Why, oh why..
Why don't change my mind?
Why can't I go back inside?
Why am I unable to close my eyes?
I breathe away the bloodstained image
-People screaming in my mind-
(I won't look down)
I breathe away the fear that bubbles up
-A child that sees my lifeless eyes-
(I won't look down)
I scream away the tears that fill my heart...
I WON'T LOOK DOWN!
Just look at me now..
Open your eyes
One more step and I'll be able to fly
One small step and I'll die
Facing up to the truth
The tongue that licked my lips
The little lies I uttered with a smile
I knew just how to bend you
So you would rest your head between my thighs
And I hate you
I hate you
But you are unaware
For a moment I wonder what brought me here
I close my eyes
Observe my empty mind
One fleeting second I perceive the taste of fear
Then I'm gone
To find myself inside..
..The moans that reach my ear
The greedy hands I bear upon my skin
Is there a way to fuck you
So you would wish I'd never let you in
For I hate you
I hate you
And you presume I care
As I lie here on my back
I imagine your eyes when I'll tell you goodbye
As you're breathing down my neck
I imagine your eyes when I'll kiss you goodnight
As I... You...
I imagine your eyes when you'll die
My feelings haven't changed
Another wasted night
You lie here panting at my side
I wonder
Are you're happy?
For a moment I know what brought me here
Open my eyes
I try to feel alive
One fleeting second I forget the taste of tears
Then I'm gone
I've lost myself again
Painted anger for the uncovered lies
I'm still standing here
My mind stuck in an endless yesterday
Failure...
(Wide awake)
No one but myself to blame
Closed my eyes to hide the shame
Had I been aware of my mistakes
I could have evaded this pain
The blood tears on my cheeks
(You)
The sour taste in my mouth
(You)
The smell upon my skin
(You)
Get away from me
I don't want to keep your memory
Failure...
(Wide awake)
No goddess remains unstained
We're all possible victims
Had I been so much more than myself
It would have been someone else
The blood tears on my cheeks
(I wipe them)
The sour taste in my mouth
(I swallow)
The smell upon my skin
(I wash away)
Step aside for me
I remain the master of this game
Failure...
(Unaccepted)
Failure...
(Unaccepted)
Failure...
(I'd rather die)
I won't accept defeat
No chance I'll kneel bleeding at your feet
The wounds your lies inflicted
Will not endure a lifetime
They're but knocking on the locked door
(No one's home)
Scratching the walls around my soul
(No one's home)
So turn around
(No one's home)
I won't answer the door
I won't hear your lies anymore
There's nothing here for you to find
I see through you
You failed to keep me blind
Be gone
I'm through with who you pretend to be
Get away from me
I'll throw away your memory